HEHEHE EXAMS ARE OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :DDD

feeling so awful now :'(
I wonder why ? :(

A sister wrote me this one day:

To Aubrey:

A thousand may fall on your left, ten thousand on the right, but it will not come near you.
Says the Lord


I know miracles dont happen exactly the same twice I know this time I must do on my own
with His strength, with assurance that even if I dont do well
I'm still worthy. That I have given my best for this sem to cope better in time and emotions.

'I dont want to go back to my old life.'
Thank you Dad

Hi everybody
It's the finals (again)
I could still remember how I almost died in the previous finals
And from the bottom of my heart, I really don't want the same thing to repeat

1) Bother people who care for me
2) Hurt the people who care for me
3) Bother and hurt myself

Coping a little better this time and I hope everything will eventually go well (in terms of emotional-control)
Saw these Retweets somewhere

'Pain is Temporary. GPA is irrelevant beyond the first job application. Experience in University is forever.'
= Aubrey needs to reinforce this mentality again, it's not about being the best amongst others but bringing out the best in herself

'Class is forever. Quitting lasts forever'
= Aubrey needs to know that while revision, she needs to remain composed, learn to takecare of the other areas of her life. Do not let finals take over her life. And.....SHE MUST NEVER QUIT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED........ (like a really unsatisfactory grade on one of her assignments <favouritest mod/prof> , oh get over it Joybrey!!!)

I really hate to take comforts from people because:
1) It tells me that I am weak and I am a victim of greed
2) In actual fact, I want to be alongside them in this journey and not always asking people to pull me forward just because I cannot control my own emotions.

God (I dont know when I last exclaimed to you), thank You for humbling my.
I always had this thought at the back of my head actually
And it really came
You know me so damn well.

Year 1 is ending in just 10 more days?
And God I just want to say I love Sociology and thank You for putting me here
Though it's quite sad that it's only an academic inquiry
butbutbut sometimes I really see it as the essence of life. (gosh)

Have I, ever, came across your mind when you think about your future?

I believe that there is one story in the world, and only one… . Humans are caught—
in their lives, in their thoughts, in their hungers and ambitions, in their avarice and
cruelty, and in their kindness and generosity too—in a net of good and evil… .
There is no other story. A man, after he has brushed off the dust and chips of his life,
will have left only the hard, clean questions: Was it good or was it evil? Have I
done well—or ill?

--John Steinback


One (really) does not simply live for himself. (In 2012, 'One does not simply....'. is like a 9gag lingo hahahhaah freak)
Missing the whole point of life but we......always just fall back into the world of insecurity and self-paralysing fear, isnt it?
Like Quicksand, we are pretty much being consumed by everything- you name it.
Do you see what I see in the picture too? 

Please don't get me at Symbolic Interaction.
I'm serious.

why I am starting small

So the drolls were talking about dreams and passion yesterday then it got me thinking about mine. I do have my own dreams, albeit un-conventional. un-successful. un-realistic. un-profitable. The Un- words do make my dreams look a little hard to achieve. Time in University made me realise that Im merely a dreamer and not a realist. And sometimes these notions put me off because I realised how incapable I've been, not even mentioning my maturity of thoughts.

I've never seen and heard this much, ever. 
But I choose not to blame how I was brought up 
I think it's a blessing I did not uncover these hard and fast rules at such a young age because I'm grateful I could still keep these precious little innocent pieces at the back of my mind.

I don't want to be blind to what this world can offer. 
Or choose to be obsolete in my thoughts and cooped up in my-fairytale-bubble
I want to be successful, realistic and someone who has what all the world deems 'good to have'
But..........if all of these is going to rob the core meaning of my life
then what is the definition of being alive?

I'm not going to downplay the power of how physical things are able define to what's within
but I never want my life to be directed by material success
I may not have as bright a future as the rest or as successful ( I may suck my thumb at the end of the day)
nonetheless, I know I will be fulfilled just having to continue what I have started on and am able to do it for life, for-everrrrr.